A Step or Two Beyond Do Unto Others

It is often said that we should treat others the way we ourselves want to be treated. I agree with that. However, I think we could at least equally benefit by treating ourselves the way we wish to be treated by others. If I regularly indulge in self-deprecating humor, how much easier do I make it for someone else to put me down? If all I give voice to are my faults and shortcomings, how soon before others also see me as far less than I truly am? If I often apologize for who I am, my very nature, how long before people are sorry they met me or worse… sorry for me?

On the flip side, if I recognize my intrinsic value without having to pretend I have no flaws to do so, how much more likely will others accept me as a complete person – one with flaws that don’t taint my loveliness and one with virtues that don’t erase my weaknesses ? If I take time for myself, will others be more apt to make time for me – perhaps see my time as something to be prized, not to be squandered or taken for granted but to be appreciated when I share some with them? If I hold myself in high esteem, my whole self, and walk through life with confidence and awareness will I draw like-minded people who will be more likely to treat me as they see me treat myself?

All that is “right” about me sits shoulder to shoulder with all that is “wrong.” But there are times when my splendid qualities are so overwhelming, such a confident beast, that my ugly imperfections bow down in the absence of any other choice, even take a slumber in the bosom of my beauty and are nearly forgotten. And, sometimes it’s the other way around. But some of my ugliest days are the ones when I am cruel to myself – when I am teaching someone else that less than the best is good enough for me. I believe I deserve better than that from me. Don’t you deserve better from you?


10 responses to “A Step or Two Beyond Do Unto Others

  1. When it comes to me, I ride the fence. Which I know is not that great but I have trouble otherwise. No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to like myself that much. Sounds terrible I know, but I speak the truth. This is the only place I really can.

    • That pains my heart, truly. Not that you speak the truth…I am grateful that you can.. but that you don’t like yourself that much. I take that to mean that you recognize your faults, which is good and necessary. But perhaps, that is all you allow yourself to recognize about yourself and that saddens me. I once told someone that I love very much that his problem is that he sees himself through his own eyes and it’s a F’d-up view. If that is your situation, too, then I pray your view gets clearer!

      • i appreciate your comments. i have had trouble with this all of my life. I try to see things in a more positive manner, but when i get to a point where I see things more clearly, something happens or someone which knocks me down in some way and I take it too seriously. I know what I do, and i know I shouldn’t but it is the typical head/heart thing that gets in the way. xx

      • Yes, that seems to be the way it works. As soon as you start to feel better, something comes along to test you. It can change, though, no matter how long it’s been going on, it can change. I wish you the best!

  2. As humans, we mirror our innermost feelings by way of self-destruction. Our abilities must be honed, tailored, controlled, and managed. We are powerful, so we have personal doubt to weaken our truest capabilities; though if we remove the veil of doubt that blinds us from seeing our true-selves; it is then, we will progress, and move forward. We succumb to the darkness, in order to see the light; just as we succumb to pain, in order to appreciate pleasure. In conclusion, whether we see the negative, or the positive inside ourselves; we must remember to only recognize these elements, but not let them define who we are.

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