GRACE

I thought about you today
when the one I call my Muse asked from
where does my writing come
whose steps do I shadow
and I thought about our yesterdays
now so long ago
timeless still in pink emotion…
I told our story…

Bouncing off the blue school van
a long hard day of instruction in my wake
long pony-tailed curls swinging side to side
as I ran up the five steps to your door
as I ran to my finest refuge
as I ran to you

Once inside, we would
get cozy in your high bed
calm all around…
it was just you and me
my plaid school skirt persisting
against your ironed flowered sheets
in your center-of-the-house green bedroom
your sweet silver head
against your pillow
my look of little girl wonder glued to
your sunny eyes and graceful splendor

Then it would begin…
your recount of the tales of
adventure and romance,
intrigue and mystery…
family style drama
all the stories you had read that day
lending them breath and beat and body
Your shared affection for stories
bred in me an absolute lust for words

And when you left me,
you left behind the purest,
thrilling love I would ever know
for me to cleave to
for me to reflect on
for me to write about…
It was you that pushed me
through the punishing misery
that your death pried into me
and you weren’t even here

So, where did I get it from?
From you, my dear,
and you never wrote a word
so exuberant and expressive were you
your words instead draped cool air
whipping with the tail of a tornado
whelming me with typhoon waters
ah… but you did write them…
within me

And so I thought of you today
and I
collapsed
crumbled
convulsed
into sadness
cried myself to sleep
my restless, lonely head against my pillow
only seeing your sweet, gentle face
soaking my sorrow
sharing your smile
You loved me true
You loved me best
You are my perfect Grace.

Dedicated to my precious grandmother, Grace Ellsworth, gone 31 years, 4 months, and 23 days…till I see you again…

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20 responses to “GRACE

  1. How beautiful is your remembrance of your grandmother, I also remember Auntie Gracie as a sweet lovable Auntie with a presence as graceful as her name. I still have my high school yearbook that she wrote in when we visited New Orleans, one summer. R I P Auntie Gracie.

  2. “And when you left me,
    you left behind the purest,
    thrilling love I would ever know
    for me to cleave to
    for me to reflect on
    for me to write about…
    It was you that pushed me
    through the punishing misery
    that your death pried into me
    and you weren’t even here”

    This is a glorious tribute, I love every word.

  3. Pingback: 2 For 1: Very Inspiring Blogger Award | Prayers and Promises

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