The Four Faces of Me

I am going through a very deliberate assessment of myself and my history to provoke a better, healthier, more whole me.  Initially, I was very excited about this, although warned that it would get painful…it would get difficult.  Ha, I paid no heed to that.  I figured I had conquered enough to be able to conquer more with a minimum of discomfort.  And, then it got difficult… and I realized my path to healing stretched back farther than I thought.  Yes, back…I have to go there before I can fully go forward.  If I want it to be better, I have to first let it get worse.  So, I find myself needing to, in a very real way, acknowledge again who I was, who I became due to circumstance and choice, who I was meant to be, and who I am going to be.  Hence, another reblog from me.  Hope you don’t mind…

 

I am the Wounded One
In me, all your little girl dreams were birthed
Your ideas and passions began in me
And I have held onto them
kept them pulsing for you
I have waited and waited
because I knew you would come back for them

I am the 18-Year-Old
I nearly destroyed you
I perverted your appetite for simple sweet dreams
into your dark despair, your dank dungeon
but I kept your candor
your naiveté
your strength
because I knew you would come back for them

I am the Broken One
I numbed you to your dream destruction
made you blind to the truth
hid your confidence in timidity to soften the wrath
And I am the one you hate the most
You think I abandoned you
I didn’t
I was used to save you
I kept your sanity
your hunger for hope
your fever for freedom
because I knew you would come back for them

I am the New One
and I wanted to replace all of you
I expected you would all disappear
like a childish dream
with my awaited advent
but without you
I would have disappeared
so I will keep you
Wounded One
18-Year-Old
Broken One
because if I leave you behind
I know I would have to come back for you.

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15 responses to “The Four Faces of Me

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