I Was Once a Model

I was once a model.  I stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from my husband and abandoned him and all of my children to live the life of a jetsetting model all across Europe. 

Really?  No, not really.  That was just one of the lies my ex-husband told to garner sympathy and praise from acquaintances and strangers.

The lies that are told to others for whatever reason can be real whoppers, but what about the ones that we tell ourselves?  How much more insiduous are the lies that we taunt ourselves with over and over until they become ingrained into the very fabric of our person?

I’m not good enough.  No one will ever love me.  I’m a failure.  I always ruin everything. 

 Those are just some of the lies I told myself for years, until I did not have to say them anymore because I became them. Finally, life threw me far more than I could handle and forced me to stop listening to myself.  I started listening – really listening – to what God had to say about me, that  I am beloved, chosen,  accepted…faults included.

I don’t have to live entangled by the overgrown weeds of self-deception, although I still plop myself down right smack in the middle of those lies because they are familiar to me and sometimes feel more real than the truth.  However, I now know how to disentangle myself from the familiar pull of the lies and look beyond my feelings.  I make a conscious effort to yank at the dead weeds in my mind and in their place plant the truths that define me as I really am, as God tells me I am.  

Lies are so very dangerous…the ones we tell to others and definitely the ones that we tell ourselves.   Will I always get them out from the root?  Maybe not.  And that’s okay… but I’ll never stop digging.

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